UNSPOKEN by Dolamu Badejo

I decided to break yet another 'blogo-pause' period of mine with one of my write-ups from my archives.  This was written and published in April 28th, 2013.  It was really interesting to receive a lot of phone calls and private messages from friends asking me if everything was alright back then over the depth of this write-up... They felt this was tooooo deep and were so drawn into every bit of it.  I laughed and felt fulfilled - Hey! I deal with psychology of perceptions for a living and where somethings are best left unspoken, I am a writer after all. Enjoy and if this speaks to you... Haaa! share a comment. *wink wink* 

- Dolly.

~Unspoken~

There’s something I always wanted to say

But times I opened my mouth

The words won’t come out straight

And even when I tried to write instead a text

Eleven out of ten, I hit delete before I send

This don’t mean I am not crazy enough to let you know

It’s just so weird how tis’ you to bring me smile like never felt

Still can’t believe how I let my body down

My hair loose and I fell; fell... fell so hard to the ground

But then I hold on close, cos’ still there’s something you always wanted to say.

...

Times I open my mouth

I see the hurt in your eyes

The tears the bastard – I mean him – left, not dried

But this is my best friend we talking about

So how could I love you on, still so shamelessly?

It is hard enough we already got in this web.

...

But baby we kissed

-I know, even so slowly, your lips so tempting

Didn’t that mean something?

-I am not sure, may be twas just a spur?

Gosh this isn’t you

-How can you tell? I am only human

Stop! You are killing us; you’re killing me

-Babe, we’re only friends; let’s not fuel this tension on.

 ...

And so those words cut me deep and through like a sword

Piercing my heart, burning my eyes, aching my soul

Only these words he never spoke

Cos’ he left... left me without a word

Only that he never left

But his emotions vanished like we never were

And here I am, living with unspoken grief

All for a man who loved but all too brief

Knowing, if he’d only agree, that we could be more

But so far he is here but far gone, and left me sore

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I can be a bore-hole of fun... serious fun sha.